muffin day

Austen: "It's muffin day," (spoken through a mouthful of muffin) "hey mom, whatever we have for breakfast, can we call it that day? Like today... is Muffin Day!"

Me: "yeah, that's a great idea. You really like muffins, don't you?"

Austen: "Yes"

Me: "Did you eat three?"

Austen: "No! I ate four!"

Me: "Wow. That's a lot of muffins"

Austen: "I know! I told you the other night that I was still hungry!"

Me: "Henry, how many did you eat? Did you eat three?"

Henry: "I ate two. They are cimmamee. Do you have any more?"

I did not.

Henry: "I just want to go downstairs"

Aaron: "I had a big one. I had one. The number of the day."

He ate four.

Elizabeth had three.

grammar

Aaron: "That's a bad book"

Erin: "That's a grammar book."

Aaron: "Gramma book?"

Me: "No, a grammar book. You should just learn how to speak English for now and worry about grammar later."

Aaron, indignantly: "I'm not a monkey!"

our Canadian ally

Neil: "Apparently Bieber cut his hair."

Erin: "What! he doesn't have Bieber hair anymore?

Neil: "Yeah, he doesn't have Bieber hair anymore."

Erin: "What's that even look like? What do you even call it if it's not 'Beiber hair'... "

long pause

"... Hair?"

intellect

Austen was petting his sister's head this morning, as he often does:

"mom, what's this stuff in her hair?"

"It's boogers," I replied

"ew! yuck, what is she doing?!"

"well, she is sick."

With equal parts disdain and derision in his voice:

"what kind of sickness is it, one that makes her not smart ...?"

wanderings

at about 12:00 AM Central Standard Time, I was alarmed to hear a strange noise in the living room. Thinking I had left my cell phone in my coat pocket or similar, I made my way out to investigate. Surprisingly, every light in the house was on. More surprisingly, I found a 3-year-old boy in a swim trunks, swim shirt, snow boots, and an Optimus Prime helmet. He was repeatedly pressing the button on the helmet that made it speak, thus the mysterious noise. "I am Optimus Prime," it said, over and over. I walked over to him, "what's up, Optimus Prime?"

"I'm Optimus Crime," he replied.

"It's time for bed, Optimus Crime."

We went downstairs. All the lights were on down there too. All the puzzles were dumped out of their boxes too. We cleaned them up. And I locked up Optimus Crime's helmet. Then I put my Baby Bear to bed. Again.

overheard

Henry to Ethan: "Ethan, Aaron is a baby. He's so stupid. He doesn't even know what a hother is."

Ethan: "yeah"

Henry: "he doesn't even know what a basement is"

Ethan: "yeah"

Henry: "it's just a downstairs!"

Ethan: "yeah"

Henry: "He doesn't even know what a sweet potato is. He's never eaten one!"

Ethan: "I've never eaten one either..."

Henry: "he doesn't know what an avacado is!"

Ethan: "yeah!"

Henry: "yeah. But Aaron is a baby!"

Henry: "he doesn't even know what, um..."

Ethan: "you know Luke?... this is how Luke says yogurt, 'yo-GIT' "

Henry: "you know Lizzy?"

Ethan: "no. Who's Lizzy?"

Henry: "Lizzy only eats mama milk"

Ethan: "what's mama milk?"

Henry: "it's milk. Milk that comes out of mom's... mom's tummy"

So long, Frank Lloyd Wright

I recently watched a documentary about Frank Lloyd Wright. I think I really don't like him. So I says as much, via my faceboooaorf status. To which my sister and some other funny people replied. Then Tyson commented. (as me) Then I laughed until I cried. Then I changed the laptop desktop wallpaper to pictures of Frank Lloyd Wright. Then I pointed to all the pictures (for there were several) and said, "He would approve of that, he was very humble." And then Tyson says "yes, but only if the pictures were facing away from the street" !!!! OH man. Laughter ensues.

what Tyson said:

"plus, he's an egotistical robber baron"

(he's not a robber baron, FYSA)

P.S. I still love Simon and Garfunkel, even after all these years.

Also, Paul Simon is shorter than me, which is neat.

Also, I now have 'Call me Al' in my head again. THANKS A LOT, FRANK LLOYD WRIGHT!!!