Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Tyson + chacha = lurrrrrve
Q: Why is it that when Gandalf strikes his staff and shouts "you shall not pass," it is considered epic but when I do the same thing in my cousin's basement with a pool cue, it is considered "annoying?"
A:Because not everyone gets the reference, and not everyone can appreciate how cool Gandalf is. ChaCha again!
Q: If my wife is upset at me for not doing the dishes, would it be wise to break into "every rose has it thorns"?
A: noooooo, apologize and do them
Q: The other day, I told my wife that she was being destructive for spraying cleanser on the kitchen floor. Does that make sense enough to be considered rude?
A: I don't think so! You were just concerned! ChaCha!
Q: What is a polite way of checking whether someone is deep in prayer or simply sleeping? I'm hungry, so please answer quickly.
A: There is no polite way to handle that. If the person is in a deep prayer, it would be rude to interrupt him.
Q: Who do you think will win the 1990 NBA finals?
A: I think the Los Angeles Lakers will defeat the Orlando Magic to win the NBA Championship, but I hope I am wrong.
Q: My wife always says, "we have the toughest kids in the world." Is it even possible to know that?
A: No, not really but I'm assuming it's just a figure of speech.
Q: My wife hasn't responded to my text messages for at least 15 minutes. Should I worry?
A: I wouldn't worry. She may be busy and can't come to the phone right away.
Q: When Denethor said he would not use the ring "unless at the uttermost end of need," why does my heart tell me that he isn't being a true boy?
A: You think that he is not telling the truth. Go with your gut ! -ChaCha
Q: Why did Denethor say that Faramir surrendered Osgiliath on a whim? Was he exaggerating to make a point?
A: Denethor stated that Faramir surrendered Osgiliath on a whim because he was disappointed in his actions in Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. ChaCha!
Q: I am having a debate with my 7 year old son. He says that the Zelda for the NES is harder, but the Zelda for N64 is better. Is that true?
A: Having played the NES version, but not the N64 version, I remember that it was rather difficult. I was pretty young at the time though! ChaCha on!
Q: I have heard "all is fair in love and war" but this excuse rarely works when I forget to take out the garbage. What gives?
A: I don't know but sometimes sayings can't get you out of doing your chores.
Q: I have heard people schedule night events and say, "we will meet, rain or shine." Should I assume the event is canceled if it doesn't rain?
A: It is just figurative language describing no matter the conditions something will happen.
Q: Which would be a better fighter: a dwarf with a bow or an elf with a battle axe?
A: They would both equally stink
Q: Why couldn't Gandalf persuade the Balrog to help the fellowship get through the mines of Moria?
A: He was restricted from unveiling his true might, except in the direst need, by the Lords of the West. Thanks for using ChaCha!
Q: I've heard some people refer to an ATM as an "automatic ATM machine." Is the beauty of abbreviations lost on them forever?
A: Sounds like it. At that point they might as well call if by its full name. ChaCha On!
On this one I beg to differ:
Q:Which would be a mightier force: 10 dwarves, 10 elves, 10 men, or 10 Gandalfs?
A: The mightier force would be 10 dwarves. The dwarves had a far better motive to fight, and therefore more willpower. Dwarves were more or less experts in fighting.
and my absolute FAVORITE:
Q: I'm hungry but I'm not sure how to ask my wife for a second dinner. Any suggestions?
A: I think if you want more to eat you should get it yourself.
This one was mine and I'm pretty sure I'm in love with whoever answered it:
Q: Where was Gondor when the Westfold fell, anyway?
A: No, my Lord Aragorn......we are alone.
A:Because not everyone gets the reference, and not everyone can appreciate how cool Gandalf is. ChaCha again!
Q: If my wife is upset at me for not doing the dishes, would it be wise to break into "every rose has it thorns"?
A: noooooo, apologize and do them
Q: The other day, I told my wife that she was being destructive for spraying cleanser on the kitchen floor. Does that make sense enough to be considered rude?
A: I don't think so! You were just concerned! ChaCha!
Q: What is a polite way of checking whether someone is deep in prayer or simply sleeping? I'm hungry, so please answer quickly.
A: There is no polite way to handle that. If the person is in a deep prayer, it would be rude to interrupt him.
Q: Who do you think will win the 1990 NBA finals?
A: I think the Los Angeles Lakers will defeat the Orlando Magic to win the NBA Championship, but I hope I am wrong.
Q: My wife always says, "we have the toughest kids in the world." Is it even possible to know that?
A: No, not really but I'm assuming it's just a figure of speech.
Q: My wife hasn't responded to my text messages for at least 15 minutes. Should I worry?
A: I wouldn't worry. She may be busy and can't come to the phone right away.
Q: When Denethor said he would not use the ring "unless at the uttermost end of need," why does my heart tell me that he isn't being a true boy?
A: You think that he is not telling the truth. Go with your gut ! -ChaCha
Q: Why did Denethor say that Faramir surrendered Osgiliath on a whim? Was he exaggerating to make a point?
A: Denethor stated that Faramir surrendered Osgiliath on a whim because he was disappointed in his actions in Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. ChaCha!
Q: I am having a debate with my 7 year old son. He says that the Zelda for the NES is harder, but the Zelda for N64 is better. Is that true?
A: Having played the NES version, but not the N64 version, I remember that it was rather difficult. I was pretty young at the time though! ChaCha on!
Q: I have heard "all is fair in love and war" but this excuse rarely works when I forget to take out the garbage. What gives?
A: I don't know but sometimes sayings can't get you out of doing your chores.
Q: I have heard people schedule night events and say, "we will meet, rain or shine." Should I assume the event is canceled if it doesn't rain?
A: It is just figurative language describing no matter the conditions something will happen.
Q: Which would be a better fighter: a dwarf with a bow or an elf with a battle axe?
A: They would both equally stink
Q: Why couldn't Gandalf persuade the Balrog to help the fellowship get through the mines of Moria?
A: He was restricted from unveiling his true might, except in the direst need, by the Lords of the West. Thanks for using ChaCha!
Q: I've heard some people refer to an ATM as an "automatic ATM machine." Is the beauty of abbreviations lost on them forever?
A: Sounds like it. At that point they might as well call if by its full name. ChaCha On!
On this one I beg to differ:
Q:Which would be a mightier force: 10 dwarves, 10 elves, 10 men, or 10 Gandalfs?
A: The mightier force would be 10 dwarves. The dwarves had a far better motive to fight, and therefore more willpower. Dwarves were more or less experts in fighting.
and my absolute FAVORITE:
Q: I'm hungry but I'm not sure how to ask my wife for a second dinner. Any suggestions?
A: I think if you want more to eat you should get it yourself.
This one was mine and I'm pretty sure I'm in love with whoever answered it:
Q: Where was Gondor when the Westfold fell, anyway?
A: No, my Lord Aragorn......we are alone.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
my son, the hypochondriac
Me: "Aaron, we're going to the doctor."
Aaron: "yay!"
Me: "And if you're good again, you can pick a special treat! And afterwards we're going to the library so go get dressed"
Aaron: "nooooooooooo!"
Me: "Do you want a special treat?"
Aaron: "no"
Me: "Do you want to go to the library?"
Aaron: "no"
Me: "Do you want to go to the doctor?"
Aaron: "YES!"
Monday, March 28, 2011
muffin day
Austen: "It's muffin day," (spoken through a mouthful of muffin) "hey mom, whatever we have for breakfast, can we call it that day? Like today... is Muffin Day!"
Me: "yeah, that's a great idea. You really like muffins, don't you?"
Austen: "Yes"
Me: "Did you eat three?"
Austen: "No! I ate four!"
Me: "Wow. That's a lot of muffins"
Austen: "I know! I told you the other night that I was still hungry!"
Me: "Henry, how many did you eat? Did you eat three?"
Henry: "I ate two. They are cimmamee. Do you have any more?"
I did not.
Henry: "I just want to go downstairs"
Aaron: "I had a big one. I had one. The number of the day."
He ate four.
Elizabeth had three.
Monday, March 14, 2011
grammar
Aaron: "That's a bad book"
Erin: "That's a grammar book."
Aaron: "Gramma book?"
Me: "No, a grammar book. You should just learn how to speak English for now and worry about grammar later."
Aaron, indignantly: "I'm not a monkey!"
Sunday, March 6, 2011
our Canadian ally
Neil: "Apparently Bieber cut his hair."
Erin: "What! he doesn't have Bieber hair anymore?
Neil: "Yeah, he doesn't have Bieber hair anymore."
Erin: "What's that even look like? What do you even call it if it's not 'Beiber hair'... "
long pause
"... Hair?"
intellect
Austen was petting his sister's head this morning, as he often does:
"mom, what's this stuff in her hair?"
"It's boogers," I replied
"ew! yuck, what is she doing?!"
"well, she is sick."
With equal parts disdain and derision in his voice:
"what kind of sickness is it, one that makes her not smart ...?"
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