muffin day

Austen: "It's muffin day," (spoken through a mouthful of muffin) "hey mom, whatever we have for breakfast, can we call it that day? Like today... is Muffin Day!"

Me: "yeah, that's a great idea. You really like muffins, don't you?"

Austen: "Yes"

Me: "Did you eat three?"

Austen: "No! I ate four!"

Me: "Wow. That's a lot of muffins"

Austen: "I know! I told you the other night that I was still hungry!"

Me: "Henry, how many did you eat? Did you eat three?"

Henry: "I ate two. They are cimmamee. Do you have any more?"

I did not.

Henry: "I just want to go downstairs"

Aaron: "I had a big one. I had one. The number of the day."

He ate four.

Elizabeth had three.

grammar

Aaron: "That's a bad book"

Erin: "That's a grammar book."

Aaron: "Gramma book?"

Me: "No, a grammar book. You should just learn how to speak English for now and worry about grammar later."

Aaron, indignantly: "I'm not a monkey!"

our Canadian ally

Neil: "Apparently Bieber cut his hair."

Erin: "What! he doesn't have Bieber hair anymore?

Neil: "Yeah, he doesn't have Bieber hair anymore."

Erin: "What's that even look like? What do you even call it if it's not 'Beiber hair'... "

long pause

"... Hair?"

intellect

Austen was petting his sister's head this morning, as he often does:

"mom, what's this stuff in her hair?"

"It's boogers," I replied

"ew! yuck, what is she doing?!"

"well, she is sick."

With equal parts disdain and derision in his voice:

"what kind of sickness is it, one that makes her not smart ...?"