Snowflake poem

There are lots of snowflakes
almost better than cakes
they are good to make
In hevens (heaven's) name
they are not the same
Snowflake poem
by Henry Olheiser

I had to get Aaron from school today. He likes to make it interesting:
"I like when dad takes me home."
And then, because he immediately realized he could be misunderstood:
"But... I like when you pick me up too. I like your mouth. I like the sounds that come out of your mouth, you know? And... I like you, your whole body. I just like you."

sometimes yes men are wrong. so wrong.

Aaron came running in to his room where I was changing sheets, "mom! mom! Peter got saved! He prayed lots of times and now he's saved like me and Henry!"

Skeptically I reply, "you know that it isn't saying a prayer that saves you, right? What do you have to do to be saved and go to heaven?"

Carson, Aaron's most enthusiastic yes man, who was up until this time just a willing and enthusiastic observer became a participant in our theological conversation with this gem: "you ask your dad to carry you up!"

I did my best to clear this up, lest you think I inadvertently led them to believe this. I don't think it worked.

Simple Kind of Christmas

Ben: "I hate Max."
Me: "I hate Ruby."
Ben: "What would happen if Max ever met Curious George?"
Me: "And had a baby?"
Ben: "And called it: A Bag of Skit-tells"
Me: incoherent laughter
Ben: "And A Rainbow Rabbit."

That's it. I thought it was funny.

duracell

Stephen A. to Skip: "Tebow can take hits and keep going, you can slow him down, but you can't stop him."
Me to Tyson: "Apparently Elizabeth has a future in the NFL."

King Picadilly

Tyson agreed to watch a video with me while I folded a mountain of laundry (that he had washed!!!) tonight. After 3 unsuccessful attempts at finding something interesting/appropriate/not a yawn-fest we finally settled on a biography of Queen Elizabeth II.

While outlining the details leading to her reign, it was necessary for the narrator to list the circumstances leading to her uncle, Edward VIII's, abdication and her father, George VI's, ascension to the throne. Upon realizing that George V had named his second son after himself, I remarked to Tyson, "see, it's not unheard of for a not-the-first son to be named after his father." (Tyson is paranoid that in naming his 5th son after himself he may be perceived as egotistical. I disagree) At which point my husband remarked to me, "no, his name was Piccadilly."
huh?
backed the dvd up
When her father became king, they moved to Buckingham Palace from their home in Piccadilly. That's cleared up so I feel free to remark again, "See? There's  precedence for that, he named his second son after himself, George..."
Tyson: "presidents? I thought he was the king."
King Piccadilly.

smrt

hubby: whats up
 me: I'm tired tried to take a nap
 yeah I tried to take a nap
 I am so tired but It was so hard to breathe that I felt panicked the whole time and finally gave up 
hubby: gave up breathing?
me: yes I am dead currently dead and typing
hubby: I'm no doctor, but I dont think that is healthy
hubby: wow... I just saw you earlier today and now you are gone...
me: ... you are a doctor
hubby: oh
 sorry

'Fish Tales' or 'The Dangers of Cannibalism' by Aaron Mark Olheiser'

"Come here, Love Boy!" The order was immediately followed and rewarded by a great big hug from me to my son, Aaron. He then told me, "I love you, I wish I could just eat your face, then eat two pictures of your face." "You're the best, Aaron," I replied. In response: "I know. And I'm five now so I know how to fish."

birthday cha-cha

Q: I just realized that my wife is a Sith Lord. What is my obligation to the Jedi Council? A: NOTHING, because cha-cha has gotten LAME. But it was an excellent question, was it not?

more chacha love courtesy of my soul mate

Q: The other day, I said something kinda insensitive to my wife and she replied "go back to the shadow." That can't be good.

A: It probably wasn't a compliment. Apologize to your wife and let her know that you love her and didn't mean to hurt her feelings.

I heart my dad with my whole heart

This was a gchat between my husband and I regarding my dad, Mark Francis Kos. Enjoy.

hubby: "good opportunity to witness to punk out hole in earlobe very open appearance punk culture to block very declaration of gospel"
guess who texted that....
me: are his initials MFK?
hubby: big time
dont know what to say to that
"yeah!"?
me: lol
hubby: I know!
"that's a shame"?
me: you know you love him. You should have replied with your own equally asinine non-sequitur: "london shame fell a well wall almost painted lavender"