Tyson + chacha = lurrrrrve

Q: Why is it that when Gandalf strikes his staff and shouts "you shall not pass," it is considered epic but when I do the same thing in my cousin's basement with a pool cue, it is considered "annoying?"
A:Because not everyone gets the reference, and not everyone can appreciate how cool Gandalf is. ChaCha again!

Q: If my wife is upset at me for not doing the dishes, would it be wise to break into "every rose has it thorns"?
A: noooooo, apologize and do them

Q: The other day, I told my wife that she was being destructive for spraying cleanser on the kitchen floor. Does that make sense enough to be considered rude?
A: I don't think so! You were just concerned! ChaCha!

Q: What is a polite way of checking whether someone is deep in prayer or simply sleeping? I'm hungry, so please answer quickly.
A: There is no polite way to handle that. If the person is in a deep prayer, it would be rude to interrupt him.

Q: Who do you think will win the 1990 NBA finals?
A: I think the Los Angeles Lakers will defeat the Orlando Magic to win the NBA Championship, but I hope I am wrong.

Q: My wife always says, "we have the toughest kids in the world." Is it even possible to know that?
A: No, not really but I'm assuming it's just a figure of speech.

Q: My wife hasn't responded to my text messages for at least 15 minutes. Should I worry?
A: I wouldn't worry. She may be busy and can't come to the phone right away.

Q: When Denethor said he would not use the ring "unless at the uttermost end of need," why does my heart tell me that he isn't being a true boy?
A: You think that he is not telling the truth. Go with your gut ! -ChaCha

Q: Why did Denethor say that Faramir surrendered Osgiliath on a whim? Was he exaggerating to make a point?
A: Denethor stated that Faramir surrendered Osgiliath on a whim because he was disappointed in his actions in Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. ChaCha!

Q: I am having a debate with my 7 year old son. He says that the Zelda for the NES is harder, but the Zelda for N64 is better. Is that true?
A: Having played the NES version, but not the N64 version, I remember that it was rather difficult. I was pretty young at the time though! ChaCha on!

Q: I have heard "all is fair in love and war" but this excuse rarely works when I forget to take out the garbage. What gives?
A: I don't know but sometimes sayings can't get you out of doing your chores.

Q: I have heard people schedule night events and say, "we will meet, rain or shine." Should I assume the event is canceled if it doesn't rain?
A: It is just figurative language describing no matter the conditions something will happen.

Q: Which would be a better fighter: a dwarf with a bow or an elf with a battle axe?
A: They would both equally stink

Q: Why couldn't Gandalf persuade the Balrog to help the fellowship get through the mines of Moria?
A: He was restricted from unveiling his true might, except in the direst need, by the Lords of the West. Thanks for using ChaCha!

Q: I've heard some people refer to an ATM as an "automatic ATM machine." Is the beauty of abbreviations lost on them forever?
A: Sounds like it. At that point they might as well call if by its full name. ChaCha On!

On this one I beg to differ:
Q:Which would be a mightier force: 10 dwarves, 10 elves, 10 men, or 10 Gandalfs?
A: The mightier force would be 10 dwarves. The dwarves had a far better motive to fight, and therefore more willpower. Dwarves were more or less experts in fighting.

and my absolute FAVORITE:
Q: I'm hungry but I'm not sure how to ask my wife for a second dinner. Any suggestions?
A: I think if you want more to eat you should get it yourself.

This one was mine and I'm pretty sure I'm in love with whoever answered it:
Q: Where was Gondor when the Westfold fell, anyway?
A: No, my Lord Aragorn......we are alone.

my son, the hypochondriac

Me: "Aaron, we're going to the doctor."

Aaron: "yay!"

Me: "And if you're good again, you can pick a special treat! And afterwards we're going to the library so go get dressed"

Aaron: "nooooooooooo!"

Me: "Do you want a special treat?"

Aaron: "no"

Me: "Do you want to go to the library?"

Aaron: "no"

Me: "Do you want to go to the doctor?"

Aaron: "YES!"

muffin day

Austen: "It's muffin day," (spoken through a mouthful of muffin) "hey mom, whatever we have for breakfast, can we call it that day? Like today... is Muffin Day!"

Me: "yeah, that's a great idea. You really like muffins, don't you?"

Austen: "Yes"

Me: "Did you eat three?"

Austen: "No! I ate four!"

Me: "Wow. That's a lot of muffins"

Austen: "I know! I told you the other night that I was still hungry!"

Me: "Henry, how many did you eat? Did you eat three?"

Henry: "I ate two. They are cimmamee. Do you have any more?"

I did not.

Henry: "I just want to go downstairs"

Aaron: "I had a big one. I had one. The number of the day."

He ate four.

Elizabeth had three.

grammar

Aaron: "That's a bad book"

Erin: "That's a grammar book."

Aaron: "Gramma book?"

Me: "No, a grammar book. You should just learn how to speak English for now and worry about grammar later."

Aaron, indignantly: "I'm not a monkey!"

our Canadian ally

Neil: "Apparently Bieber cut his hair."

Erin: "What! he doesn't have Bieber hair anymore?

Neil: "Yeah, he doesn't have Bieber hair anymore."

Erin: "What's that even look like? What do you even call it if it's not 'Beiber hair'... "

long pause

"... Hair?"

intellect

Austen was petting his sister's head this morning, as he often does:

"mom, what's this stuff in her hair?"

"It's boogers," I replied

"ew! yuck, what is she doing?!"

"well, she is sick."

With equal parts disdain and derision in his voice:

"what kind of sickness is it, one that makes her not smart ...?"

wanderings

at about 12:00 AM Central Standard Time, I was alarmed to hear a strange noise in the living room. Thinking I had left my cell phone in my coat pocket or similar, I made my way out to investigate. Surprisingly, every light in the house was on. More surprisingly, I found a 3-year-old boy in a swim trunks, swim shirt, snow boots, and an Optimus Prime helmet. He was repeatedly pressing the button on the helmet that made it speak, thus the mysterious noise. "I am Optimus Prime," it said, over and over. I walked over to him, "what's up, Optimus Prime?"

"I'm Optimus Crime," he replied.

"It's time for bed, Optimus Crime."

We went downstairs. All the lights were on down there too. All the puzzles were dumped out of their boxes too. We cleaned them up. And I locked up Optimus Crime's helmet. Then I put my Baby Bear to bed. Again.