Simple Kind of Christmas

Ben: "I hate Max."
Me: "I hate Ruby."
Ben: "What would happen if Max ever met Curious George?"
Me: "And had a baby?"
Ben: "And called it: A Bag of Skit-tells"
Me: incoherent laughter
Ben: "And A Rainbow Rabbit."

That's it. I thought it was funny.

duracell

Stephen A. to Skip: "Tebow can take hits and keep going, you can slow him down, but you can't stop him."
Me to Tyson: "Apparently Elizabeth has a future in the NFL."

King Picadilly

Tyson agreed to watch a video with me while I folded a mountain of laundry (that he had washed!!!) tonight. After 3 unsuccessful attempts at finding something interesting/appropriate/not a yawn-fest we finally settled on a biography of Queen Elizabeth II.

While outlining the details leading to her reign, it was necessary for the narrator to list the circumstances leading to her uncle, Edward VIII's, abdication and her father, George VI's, ascension to the throne. Upon realizing that George V had named his second son after himself, I remarked to Tyson, "see, it's not unheard of for a not-the-first son to be named after his father." (Tyson is paranoid that in naming his 5th son after himself he may be perceived as egotistical. I disagree) At which point my husband remarked to me, "no, his name was Piccadilly."
huh?
backed the dvd up
When her father became king, they moved to Buckingham Palace from their home in Piccadilly. That's cleared up so I feel free to remark again, "See? There's  precedence for that, he named his second son after himself, George..."
Tyson: "presidents? I thought he was the king."
King Piccadilly.

smrt

hubby: whats up
 me: I'm tired tried to take a nap
 yeah I tried to take a nap
 I am so tired but It was so hard to breathe that I felt panicked the whole time and finally gave up 
hubby: gave up breathing?
me: yes I am dead currently dead and typing
hubby: I'm no doctor, but I dont think that is healthy
hubby: wow... I just saw you earlier today and now you are gone...
me: ... you are a doctor
hubby: oh
 sorry

'Fish Tales' or 'The Dangers of Cannibalism' by Aaron Mark Olheiser'

"Come here, Love Boy!" The order was immediately followed and rewarded by a great big hug from me to my son, Aaron. He then told me, "I love you, I wish I could just eat your face, then eat two pictures of your face." "You're the best, Aaron," I replied. In response: "I know. And I'm five now so I know how to fish."

birthday cha-cha

Q: I just realized that my wife is a Sith Lord. What is my obligation to the Jedi Council? A: NOTHING, because cha-cha has gotten LAME. But it was an excellent question, was it not?

more chacha love courtesy of my soul mate

Q: The other day, I said something kinda insensitive to my wife and she replied "go back to the shadow." That can't be good.

A: It probably wasn't a compliment. Apologize to your wife and let her know that you love her and didn't mean to hurt her feelings.